You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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