i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
