whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
only you would photoshop your dick
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize