I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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