i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
