At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
