yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize