she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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