There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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