just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
