FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
