Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
