Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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