Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
