no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
