The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize