I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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