I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
