Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
