is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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