speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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