If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
