he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize