i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
