How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
