And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
