the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
