yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The ass gains better be worth it
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize