The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
