We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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