we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
