do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
