We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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