Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
