You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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