i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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