And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize