Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I faked an abortion last night.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize