uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize