I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
