Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize