I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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