In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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