It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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