Where is the hickey?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
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