He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
