he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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