how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize