New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
