Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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