Sry I called you an 8
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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