I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
