This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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