I feel great
I just peed on a car
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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