epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
