I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
