He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
