His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
