I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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