He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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