Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
