Having a random hookup so left but love u
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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