Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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