You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
