She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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